i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
