where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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