It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wish my penis had a tongue
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
