whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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