I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
