Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
