well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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