Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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