first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
