if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
