you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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