Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
