I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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