I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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