Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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