my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
