somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
