morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
