I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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