i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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