is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
