I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
