I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
