Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
