i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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