He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
