Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
