i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
