no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
