Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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