totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
