exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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