I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize