Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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