He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
