I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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