He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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