before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
