It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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