don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
