So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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