I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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