The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
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I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize