And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
