found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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