Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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