I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
