im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection