can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
