i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?