found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?