There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
