Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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