KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
