If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
