Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
