just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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