another moral hangover. fuck.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
