I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
