That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
