Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize