i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
