Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
