are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
