meet me or not, i'm out of control
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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