last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
