I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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