he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
