so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
