It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
