She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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